long long time ago...

Someone once told me that to love a person, you need to love yourself first. And now I am in love with myself. Loving the way I speak, I interact and look. It really gives me the confidants that boost the guys ego you know.

But right now there is another person that tells me that I love myself too much. Love its just like a glass of half filled water, where someone can say it is "half filled" or some can say its "half empty" it only depends on where are you coming from.

In life I still believe that there is nothing such as a right or wrong answer or decision or anything. Even in the science world 1 + 1 = 2 can be wrong when someone can prove that it is wrong. So there is no definite answer to anything, only is that answer of yours really yours? As in do you think its right? Do you feel its right? Do you want it that way that contributes to the right or wrong.

Just another emo night from
Nan

culture night was nt bad after all :)

I believe the culture night was one of those nights that after you graduate, you will still remember about it. It was really fun!! had dance then sing a song for the audience. What was fun to me is not the performing, but the time back stage where everyone is helping out one and other. Helping to do your hair, helping to do make up, that feeling is so nice and warm.

You know its those feelings that you feel you are wanted. And once you are out on the stage everyone is looking at you as well, finally those feelings are coming back to me :)

Actually I'm those people that cant really expressed themselves well. I don't really tell people how I feel and I cant tell people how I feel. I will always bottle it up all inside, but today I realized that I am still needed and still have a purpose in this mother earth.

its 30 min to 2010

This yr i feel so helpless and useless. Yet again, the 1 mistake had cause the whole chain reaction of making me so broken. I promise, and i will not repeat this again. Yr 2010, u r getting near to 2012. I will change before its too late.

whats worthy?

Is a cup of kopi worth 50c or $7? is the effort of spending countless nite on a module worth it? Is life worth living? Is the happy moments worthy of us gg through the shit times? Is it worthy?

i know, but..

smoking hurts ur body, but at least i know it was a part of me before. and i enjoy u being apart of me.

I hope I can see..

There are so much things that we human would want to see. Some want to see money in their possession. Other want to see their hopes and dreams coming true. But I hope I can see the clear blue sky that the world used to have it at the time that it was just created. Nothing but pure, clear, blue sky.

Those that gives you the feeling of innocent, to the extend that you would simply take a deep breath and have a great smile. As if you are flying within the paradise, touching the clouds and feeling so light and so cool...

我的泪流在心里 学会放弃

I was being commented that i'm easily contented

Yes i am easily contented, but reality made me otherwise.

i want to go where you are, i want to start running soon

Looking back...

its yr 1999 when i was in sec 1 and now its yr 2009 and i'm still studying but its in uni now. 10yrs had passed and still memories lingers arnd.

Till now i still remember the will and strength that I had gathered to make it to my express stream. And till now I'm still thinking of that reason, sometime I asked is it good to be an extremist?

Fighting and going all out for the reason and meaning that you believed within yourself. It was a big step back 10 years ago, and a real waste of time and effort with a deep scar as a happy ending. But its a experience that taught me some value, some meaning in life.

Yes I have fight for it, and yes i have given everything I could possibly give. And a deep fall is the award that I get from all those hardwork. And thru this, it makes a real boy to a real man. Someone that will be able to see emotions esp pain just by looking into the person's eye. Someone that will not be so kind to others simply because he knows the agony from being treated badly.

Time is the best doc in the whole world. Only if you learn how to face it first.

whats the purpose of blogging.

So I asked myself this qustion today. Whats the purpose of bloggin? especially when people SAW and laught at your english?

simple hated SAW.

focus!!

Incoming Incoming!! Exams in 1 more week.

Still I can't focus on my studies. I tried ways and method to detach myself from problems and troubles but they simply come right back to me! Ironic is what life is all about. I told people not to tell me about stuff, and yet they purposely tell you right at the moment that you though you can focus on your studies.

I am really confused, am I angry with people disrupting my studies or am i too deep in the shit?

The real feelings needs to be touched and felt.

Someone asked me, nan are you ok? Your nick seems emotional.

Well, at the moment I told her that I'm just trying to be emotional, so its ok. But right now having to think about it, it really makes me realized something. If you had never been into a hole, would you understand or feel that sort of feelings? Like the deep well that you see above, do you know how it look like deep down there? You will never and ever get the answer till you have reached the real end of the story i guessed.

seeds to flower

Its really funny in life that we never think that somethings would happen, and we assume that it would not have any effect on you.

But as time passes by, its like a seed that grows in your heart, it does not but gets on growing within you. Even if you wished to pluck it out at that instance it simply wouldn't allow you to, as it had been rooted to your inner self without you realizing it. Its until the very moment that you could felt the pain of the flower's root growing deeper and deeper into you till it hits where it hurts the most, where the razor sharp pain actually woke you up in your day dream. That you realized all along you have been missing all those precious moments.

If you would be given a choice to choose any letter to represent you, what would it be? I would never and ever choose the letter 'O'. Whats yours??

feeling totallt like a loser!!

HATE MUGGIN! PERIOD

feeling the kicks...

Had been doing discrete maths for 4hrs a day for abt a week, and still i'm at chap3. Feeling so stupid nowadays...

its like in the past, I could simply understand maths within a few hours, but nowadays i need a few days or even a few weeks to understand maths... I seriously feel so depressed about it.

Everyday when i woke up, i know i have to study, and yet i dun feel like. I got so many things that I want to say it out but i know i need to keep it deep down in me. Why do we human needs to be so intellect? Knowing the logic or the reason of how to be successful and sacrifice the happy moments in our lifes. Life is such a irony... its juz like roses where all the outsiders would only see how wonderful our life is, but not knowing beneath the beauty of the roses are years and years of torturing torns that had been drilled into our very core steams of each of the roses...

life is reali a messed

I am so damn freaking frastrated at how things are, they are all simply obsticals that you have to cross! Cant things be enjoying a bit? fun a bit and less torturing? this is world!! nt a living hell!! so damn pissed!!

2 faces...

Are you a 2 face person? Sometimes I am in such a dilemma, like how should I react to certain situation? Did I handle this matter correctly? Should I do it morally correct? or should I do it the way I want it or like it?


There are so many choices in life, and each decision you made will conclude what type of person you are. This is what I believe in, but there are so many times that I just wanting to do things the way I would want or like to! Just like a kid that has the freedom to show their expression and their behaviour. Isn't it so nice to be just a kid...

u can bring the cow to the water, but its the cow that decides whether to drink or not

Sometimes I do wonder, why do some cow, when you bring them to the water, they still doesn't wish to drink it? Especially when the cow is thirsty!

Recently, I do also realize that what a stupid cow am I was for the past few years of my life. And due to this cow, I realized to be more cautious about my own choice of word and body language.
Till now, I'm still wondering why the cow does such a thing. Is it because that the cow is not sensitive enough? Or is it what the people used to say that the cow skin is simply too thick?
So far, I do admin that I dislike the cow. But still I'm trying to lead the cow to the water, reason being, I used to be a cow too. And I feel that I am a cow now as well! But I'm trying real hard to change the fact.

But currently, this cow seems like it’s showing me some syndromes that it wants to retaliate, despite the effort that all of us had been trying to bring the cow to the water. The reason why am I blogging this, is that I'm wondering should I simply ignore this cow? Erm... maybe I should just play xi nu nia (wash milk) game, at least it had more entertaining value.

I HATE MYSELF!!

Last sem, i was reali spendin all the effort that i could gather for a module. N I still got an D for it.

Sumtimes i reali feel that i'm so screwed!! I gv up on my hobbies like singing, pools, clubing for my studies. N still i screw things up. What do i hv to do? I'm serious nt cut for studies.

Its not that i'm tryin to push all the blame, but i'm seriously tired of this. I juz wan to be tt ave. joe. That guy that can join his live the way he wans it. Not rich, not famous, but happi. R we all heading to a wrong direction in life??