its 30 min to 2010

This yr i feel so helpless and useless. Yet again, the 1 mistake had cause the whole chain reaction of making me so broken. I promise, and i will not repeat this again. Yr 2010, u r getting near to 2012. I will change before its too late.

whats worthy?

Is a cup of kopi worth 50c or $7? is the effort of spending countless nite on a module worth it? Is life worth living? Is the happy moments worthy of us gg through the shit times? Is it worthy?

i know, but..

smoking hurts ur body, but at least i know it was a part of me before. and i enjoy u being apart of me.

I hope I can see..

There are so much things that we human would want to see. Some want to see money in their possession. Other want to see their hopes and dreams coming true. But I hope I can see the clear blue sky that the world used to have it at the time that it was just created. Nothing but pure, clear, blue sky.

Those that gives you the feeling of innocent, to the extend that you would simply take a deep breath and have a great smile. As if you are flying within the paradise, touching the clouds and feeling so light and so cool...

我的泪流在心里 学会放弃

I was being commented that i'm easily contented

Yes i am easily contented, but reality made me otherwise.

i want to go where you are, i want to start running soon

Looking back...

its yr 1999 when i was in sec 1 and now its yr 2009 and i'm still studying but its in uni now. 10yrs had passed and still memories lingers arnd.

Till now i still remember the will and strength that I had gathered to make it to my express stream. And till now I'm still thinking of that reason, sometime I asked is it good to be an extremist?

Fighting and going all out for the reason and meaning that you believed within yourself. It was a big step back 10 years ago, and a real waste of time and effort with a deep scar as a happy ending. But its a experience that taught me some value, some meaning in life.

Yes I have fight for it, and yes i have given everything I could possibly give. And a deep fall is the award that I get from all those hardwork. And thru this, it makes a real boy to a real man. Someone that will be able to see emotions esp pain just by looking into the person's eye. Someone that will not be so kind to others simply because he knows the agony from being treated badly.

Time is the best doc in the whole world. Only if you learn how to face it first.

whats the purpose of blogging.

So I asked myself this qustion today. Whats the purpose of bloggin? especially when people SAW and laught at your english?

simple hated SAW.

focus!!

Incoming Incoming!! Exams in 1 more week.

Still I can't focus on my studies. I tried ways and method to detach myself from problems and troubles but they simply come right back to me! Ironic is what life is all about. I told people not to tell me about stuff, and yet they purposely tell you right at the moment that you though you can focus on your studies.

I am really confused, am I angry with people disrupting my studies or am i too deep in the shit?

The real feelings needs to be touched and felt.

Someone asked me, nan are you ok? Your nick seems emotional.

Well, at the moment I told her that I'm just trying to be emotional, so its ok. But right now having to think about it, it really makes me realized something. If you had never been into a hole, would you understand or feel that sort of feelings? Like the deep well that you see above, do you know how it look like deep down there? You will never and ever get the answer till you have reached the real end of the story i guessed.

seeds to flower

Its really funny in life that we never think that somethings would happen, and we assume that it would not have any effect on you.

But as time passes by, its like a seed that grows in your heart, it does not but gets on growing within you. Even if you wished to pluck it out at that instance it simply wouldn't allow you to, as it had been rooted to your inner self without you realizing it. Its until the very moment that you could felt the pain of the flower's root growing deeper and deeper into you till it hits where it hurts the most, where the razor sharp pain actually woke you up in your day dream. That you realized all along you have been missing all those precious moments.

If you would be given a choice to choose any letter to represent you, what would it be? I would never and ever choose the letter 'O'. Whats yours??

feeling totallt like a loser!!

HATE MUGGIN! PERIOD

feeling the kicks...

Had been doing discrete maths for 4hrs a day for abt a week, and still i'm at chap3. Feeling so stupid nowadays...

its like in the past, I could simply understand maths within a few hours, but nowadays i need a few days or even a few weeks to understand maths... I seriously feel so depressed about it.

Everyday when i woke up, i know i have to study, and yet i dun feel like. I got so many things that I want to say it out but i know i need to keep it deep down in me. Why do we human needs to be so intellect? Knowing the logic or the reason of how to be successful and sacrifice the happy moments in our lifes. Life is such a irony... its juz like roses where all the outsiders would only see how wonderful our life is, but not knowing beneath the beauty of the roses are years and years of torturing torns that had been drilled into our very core steams of each of the roses...

life is reali a messed

I am so damn freaking frastrated at how things are, they are all simply obsticals that you have to cross! Cant things be enjoying a bit? fun a bit and less torturing? this is world!! nt a living hell!! so damn pissed!!

2 faces...

Are you a 2 face person? Sometimes I am in such a dilemma, like how should I react to certain situation? Did I handle this matter correctly? Should I do it morally correct? or should I do it the way I want it or like it?


There are so many choices in life, and each decision you made will conclude what type of person you are. This is what I believe in, but there are so many times that I just wanting to do things the way I would want or like to! Just like a kid that has the freedom to show their expression and their behaviour. Isn't it so nice to be just a kid...

u can bring the cow to the water, but its the cow that decides whether to drink or not

Sometimes I do wonder, why do some cow, when you bring them to the water, they still doesn't wish to drink it? Especially when the cow is thirsty!

Recently, I do also realize that what a stupid cow am I was for the past few years of my life. And due to this cow, I realized to be more cautious about my own choice of word and body language.
Till now, I'm still wondering why the cow does such a thing. Is it because that the cow is not sensitive enough? Or is it what the people used to say that the cow skin is simply too thick?
So far, I do admin that I dislike the cow. But still I'm trying to lead the cow to the water, reason being, I used to be a cow too. And I feel that I am a cow now as well! But I'm trying real hard to change the fact.

But currently, this cow seems like it’s showing me some syndromes that it wants to retaliate, despite the effort that all of us had been trying to bring the cow to the water. The reason why am I blogging this, is that I'm wondering should I simply ignore this cow? Erm... maybe I should just play xi nu nia (wash milk) game, at least it had more entertaining value.

I HATE MYSELF!!

Last sem, i was reali spendin all the effort that i could gather for a module. N I still got an D for it.

Sumtimes i reali feel that i'm so screwed!! I gv up on my hobbies like singing, pools, clubing for my studies. N still i screw things up. What do i hv to do? I'm serious nt cut for studies.

Its not that i'm tryin to push all the blame, but i'm seriously tired of this. I juz wan to be tt ave. joe. That guy that can join his live the way he wans it. Not rich, not famous, but happi. R we all heading to a wrong direction in life??

Dragon ball!!

Recently i've resume back to my green life. Left with 35 more days. So with the 35 days of my live being tied to green, i've tried to "tu dou" some interesting stuff to kill some of my time. Guess whats in the TOP list? haha... TATA!! DragonBall!!! If u r lazing arnd aft exams, pls try this anime!

Its reali gre8 to c this anime, i still remember i was primary5 when i see the dragonBall Z movie in the cinema. Now it reali brings back lots of childhood memories. Feeling so gd to be young again. hoho!!

war of the 1 small poplation vs 2 larges population.

the war condition here is bad
we hv been bombarded by the enermy air, land , sea force
n the enermy had vastly outnumber us
do send us reinformance asap
i repeat ASAP!!!!

3 cases 2 weeks n now 1 incredible tales

Recently it seems that my sch is sort of in a very bad shape. Ironically, hv any1 heard of any toks being made clear to all of us?

I had always been taught in my training sch back in the green days that, the reason for a leader is to command and control ur man n rumors. Is it true that smart ppl dun need leadership? Juz sit back n wait for "results" and not to "speculate" about things. Its reali a smart move not to "speculate" but by choosing that method u hv caused tens and thousands to "speclate" now. Mr Alex. I mean Mr Smart.

hopeless helpless..

guess that mostly everyone hv tasted the hopeless helpless feelings in their lives. But this time round, i feel it with a topping of restless.

Simply, everyday u work like a horse, or a dog. Trying to get as much things into ur head, tt seems so slow nowadays. To a point that u can actually feel the vain poping out. N yet u still dun understand a single thing. Sometimes the elder do say that u need to try and strave to be better. But i guess when u r in an environment where everyone simply standing on top of u, n stepping u down like a stone. U simply dun wish to be any more better, as u simply will become a better stepping stone n period.

Day by day passes, n the things i loved, i like doing r all leaving me further n further away. Ironic, things tt i detest are inching their way nearer to me. Day by day passes, and i can c the clock ticking, n this clock had a label called armagadon. tick tick tick....

Singout 09

Hv u all heard of this event? this great, fantastic event is being held by my most beloved music sch called Music Story, on top of it. This yrs organizing party are made up of the most talented and hardworking crew that i hv ever knew! do catch a glimse of such wonderful event. its like a eclipse where some ppl could onli get to c it once in a LIFETIME!!

http://www.76neilroad.blogspot.com/

confussed and confussed...

Recently i hv mixed emotion. so mixed up that i simply dun noe what i'm so messed up. I dun noe what i'm thinking, i'm feeling. When i sit down i feel y am i sitting down, when i took a bus as usual i will wonder y am i in this bus? when i buy some food and eat, i will wonder y do i get this food? shld i eat it now? or keep it later? i hv no judgement at all, i cant make anymore decisions, i feel weak, i feel simply confussed.

tennis 3mths ago...

This is my hall tennis team!! haha... reali had a fun time tgt. Hope times can juz stop.

calculator week = cocker-na-den week

Look up there. This is how ur calculator shld look like inside. i spend around 124hrs thinking how to do it. This sch is simply sick!! Rite now, i grave for outings, grave for toking cock, grave for walking in the streets, grave for fun. :(

Still aft spending so much time, my calculator is still not complete. But i simply gv up this calculator for the time being. Now i need to go back to study my other modules. lol!! sch is simply sick. How i wish i can be a person who simply dun care abt studies, who can skip sch n skip all the works. Y am i always tt guy tt hate to lose? hate to admin tt i am 2pid.

N guess by the hate for being stupid juz made me stupid, and made me a geek. LOL. but i do love being a geek!! GEEK = gd person. no lust for money, no lust for power, no lust but knowledge. GEEKY = GOOD. tts y its all starting wif 'G'. G-man. GeekyMan...

random

well, its another insomnia nite. So i decide to blog. N this fellow here is me! Its a very random pic that i took and wanted to put as my DP. but guess my nose is too big currently. So decided not to. LOL. Tts all. Juz being random

Nan's study table DISCLOSED

I missed my dear table at home. My coffee is always free, my air-con is always ready, my ultra-man will always encourage me. lol! sounds gay uh~ but wif a mind tt u simply hate study, tt 2pid ultra-man will suddenly transformed into an angle tt encourages u to study. espcially when exams are near. Last but no least, my kinky red spec!! bought it for so long, but nv wear it out be4. lol. no guts to do tt, guess next party i will be goin there n be Mr. Kinky~

Well, last week was a torture as i need to hand in projects. This week too is another project hell week. N guess wat, by the time i realized tt i've finish my project, i hv no idea wats my lecture note is telling me!

hard disk crash. memories lost.

this new yr reali means alot of me. I vowed aft my army i will be a changed man, i vowed to be a careing person. I dun wish to see any more tears being shed so helplessly. And somehow recently my hard disk crashed, with all my memories being sorted inside. Is it telling me its reali time to let go? and be free?

To be frank, i feel like a cold blooded animal ever since army. I cant feel wats called emotion anymore. In my dictionary there is nothing called fear, sad, emo, ect...
there is only words like eat, slp, study, play, ect...

Its kind of weird, but things do happen. Something i juz feel that we feelings arise becuz we think too much. Juz like if u like a person tell her. wld tt solve ur problem of emo?

If cant, is it becoz u think too much possibility that somehow somewhere she will like u back?.Or maybe one day magical things juz happen and she will like u back?

Time is now my enermy, time at the same time its my dearest friend. I cant waste any of my dearest friend anymore, n i hv to treasure them. If i were to tell time that i hate u, coz u waste my life for the past 22yrs. Does it mean that i hv to fight back for wat i've lost? n be tt someone i wished to be? I simply juz wan to be free, n be myself. I love freedom, n i hope freedom loves me.

Geting older.

Erm, this yr is kind of a surprise for me. Coz i'm getting 1 yr older rite on CYN day!!

So there will be thousand and thousands of ppl counting down my bday this yr. Remember to see the TV!! n count down my bday tgt!! lol~

Batam 2008

Its 7 days into the year 2009, and i am juz free to upload my Batam 2008 trip pics. LOL!

Actually i kind of like 2008. Its a yr tt i reali made a lot of new friends. New weird friends like naggy evelyn tt keep saying i'm naggy. Joyce tt is always like a big sister even thou she is younger than me. Chris that i reali learn a lot, learn how to communicate better. To be frank i'm someone tt reali dun noe hw to speak my mind, and it always end up me leaving impression that i am actually planning to do other things. If u dun get it? Its ok. LOL!


New friends like tony, jeremy, jasmint, jamie, leon, calvina, NELSON!!- "auto MJ kia" and reali a lot a lot more. Reali brings me back to my younger days. Where money is nt a problem, and no one is back stabling you. LOVE the time.


Ok! now back to batam pic. Pls enjoy~!

Enjoying the donut?

ITs like.... NICE!!

A&W breakfast! Can u hv 1 nw?

Nice view uh? including me

Sweet living hut!!








Batam 08 crew member

I LOVE WAKE BOARDING!!! >.<

Naruto thinking what to do....

YA!!!!!!!! sumon frog JISU!! WOO!!

1 FROG appear!!

It was a fun time in batam. Hope can go back again n do wake board. hope yr 2009 will be a gd yr for all of us.