Sunday...

Well today is sunday... and i feel so relaxed at my home with my air-con on now... Nv did i imagine that i wld post such a 2pid blog, but ya i am posting it now.

Actually the reason y i am posting is caused i reali like the feeling of slacking in my room!! Its been 2 mths? since i reali had such a nice rest time!! LOL!! and all thanks to no one but myself. I've been promising ppl to mit up, that i actually had no time for myself to just slp. For the past 2 mths i had been onli slping 6 hrs a day, and i am so tired that i always slp on the bus or MRT. Think is reali time for me to sit down n think thru wat i reali wan to do, and not keep messing things up.

As wat i always says... I onli wan to be a normal person, living a normal life. Life is nv better then a normal one :)

Easily 4gotten stars...

Well look at who is in the pic? Do u still remember her? she is one of my favorit american idol 2 idol!! but guess where is she now? she is 1st 4gotten, 2nd not being mention at all!! Y do i bring this up 2day? I guess feel that stars r so easily 4gotten. How much hardship have they gone thru to get famous, and how easy is it to be 4gotten... Life is reali like a drama, you can be the king for the moment, and the next time you know, you r a begger... Lifes so sad, so crude...

In the past, i was so free, no responsible, no trouble... but rite now i feel so heavy, so tired and so exhausted!! but still i have to drag my feet and finish the long run no matter wat happen... I am reali confuessed abt who i reali am rite now, i cant get things rite, and i cant get myself back to shape. I am sick, i am tired and i juz wan to be a normal person, y cant they juz let me be a simple person, where i could sit down and had a gd laught all the time. Y must i be the one that needs to be sitted there and be so strict to get things inorder. I dun like order, i dun like rules, i dun like the current me... As wat i have always said, i juz wan to be a simple person, y cant ppl juz get it!! leave me alone n let me be simple!! is it tt hard to do that minior thing for me? I wan to hv a gd rest, a gd slp and a gd peaceful time...

smart or hardworking

2day one of my friend asked me "Do you believe in smart or hardworking", and i replied him w/o any hassitation, "Of coz is smart" then i started to add in some factor of the advantages of being hardworking. And rite now thinking thru wat i said, i feel that i am sort of contridicting. Why do i replied "smart" but i am thinking abt "hardwork"? Its weird rite! But anyway by the end of the day both of us believe that there can be no 1 that is hardworking for life juz like how my parents always tell me "boy, u can nv be smart for life" i guess life is like gambling, u nv noe wats rite or wrong, so long i believe in my faith, i will then be the "smart" and the "hardworking" that ppl will see me as. There is nv a defination in life, onli perceptions.

interesting interesting...

Well, 2day had been doing video for the organization that i hated most!! but guess my video talents and interest doesn't reali made me feel so bad aft all! in fact, i sort of enjoy it!! hehe!

Its reali been so long that i feel that i am back to studies, i reali had this sort of feeling 2day. Brain storming on things that r reali is happenin rather then telling some warrents / SGs that are pratically telling you ok and nt do anything!! it feels so much better!! At least i din noe that my software are able to work better then something that gets paid for abt few Ks a mth, while i onli paid a few K once!!

Lifes still goes on, and i hope that i wun be living a life that such shitty and filty ppl lived in! Luckly i noe who i am, where i am and wat i am!! I juz wan to be a simple man, so pls let me be SIMPLE!!! I AM NOT SPECIAL FOR YOUR INFO

bad bad bad...

I feel so bad nt goin to the xin guan 3 thingy!! haiz... but rite now say may seem a bit ptless lah, but ya lor i juz feel bad nt to support the ppl :(

Was sad abt the result as well. Actually i was shock when i noe the result. ya... but lets nt tok abt sad stuff lah!! lol!! its a bad day, but life still goes on. Sun sets everyday, and rises the next mornin wor!! Try to c if there is any rainbow bah!! maybe u r likely to c 1 and can admire it and smile so HAPPILY!! ORH I C MY PINK IC!!!

feel kind of heavy...

Well... today is v day, and i spent it on camp and home only... LOL!! Actually i find its ok, as personally i dun reali like v day as well thou... ya lor! but juz had this tots and feelin tt wat hv i actually been doing during my past NS life.

I feel so empty rite now. i feel like i am juz like a normal person. i hv lost tt i am special feelin in me. well, i guess when u reali look and deal with so mani sort of ppl, u will actually be sick of wats special. Anyway i always like to be normal, but normal in a way tt i noe i am hv my own believe and thinkin. but rite nw, i onli feel that i dun hv my own mind set anymore. i am sick n tired of bein the one who made so mani decision. i am sick of responsibility. i am sick of wakin up every mornnin noein tt i nid to make sumthing happen out of nth. i am reali sick of bein a leader. i juz wan to be a follower, i naggy person, sum1 tt can so openly express himself and feel so free and relax. those were the days back then... :)

life life...

Well, life is kind of hard for me now. Coz i am reali nt motivated a single bit? i wan to slp, i dun wan to work. get it?

happi Bday to me....

Well, ytd was my Bday, and i spend it with my friends in the aftnoon. And went for some audition at nite, aft tt i join my another friend for my lovely mid nite atmosphere wif.

Its kind of sad for my Bday this yr, as i was expectin presents from everyone. But it seems that no1 reali borther to get me any. Althou i always say time is more impt then presents the last few yrs, but i reali wish that i hv presents this yr. I hv no idea y, but its juz that compare to last yr, i feel so empty. No atmosphere that i am hving my bday. Its like there is almost no presents for me to see that its for me.

Maybe i'm hvin too much high hopes i think. Things are better left it as it is. Tt is something i always believe in. Nv go and do something tt is bigger then you, nv think you r tt special 1. Haha, i feel so emo as well as so shallow to yearn for presents. But anyway, i had a gd time this rnd. A lot of new friends, new experiance as well. The Bday surprise celebration at ms, the outin wif my friends, the wonderful calls, smses by all sort of my dears lol!! Feel so good to hv gals arnd!! BUT I WAN PRESENT!! NXT YR MUST GET ME ONE!!! FOR THOSE WHO C THIS POST

why is it so hard?

Some people can simply just speak out their minds, but why can't i? is it coz wat i'm being trained into? being able to think and act accordingly? why do i always act so accordingly?? i simply dun get it!! i wan to do some things but its just that i can't!! i can't do things that are "not rite", i feel so screwed u noe!! Everything i look back at wats happenin, i regret by being a Mr. Good Dude!! The better person u r, the more u will lose out in many ways. Although i do agreed that bein good is hard, and its a rare virtual, but sometimes it's juz hurts you in a way or another. I realli dun noe y am i feelin so bad for being good, but sometimes i juz feel like doing likewise. I dun wan to be who i am now, wat my rank is, wat i surpose to behave, wat i shld do, hw i shld lead, hw i shld decipline, hw shld i do this and that.

I dun noe y!! There is simply no one that is controlling me at all, but its juz that i always tell myself i nid to be this and that, and i am reali sick of it!! I JUZ WAN TO BE SIMPLE!! I WAN A SIMPLE LIFE A VERY SIMPLE ONE!!!

Sista Sista...

2day i asked sista why she dun jio me out de, then it ended up that i "put her airplane", and her tone was like angry.

sista dun be angry can? I mean if i go out i will onli be spendin a few hrs outside onli rite? since i nid to come hm to slp for my wk?

aniwae, 2day i juz find out that this song is veri nice!! 听,我爱你 by 李圣杰 If any1 that is free pls go youtube and listen to this song!!

sista xiao yi xia mah!!

A milk curd a day, keeps my happiness a wake!!

So funni 2day!! I was watching the huang xin lu at 9pm+ when my neighbour smsed me u wan bean curd? then i tot that maybe she trying to be nice, so i told her 1 will make me veri happi. And guessed wat!! its 11.50 and i had a mango milk curd in my room!! lol... Was kind of happi that i actually had a milk curd delivered to my house for FREE!! keke!!

Reali make my day end with a sweet milk curd smile :)

Which course to CHOOSE!!!

Well... Recently i've try and look up for Uni courses again!! And it seems that the more i look up, the more uncertian i am for wat i wld wan to study!! COOL RITE!!!

Normally the more u reseach on, the clearer ur idea will be. But for me its different!! The more i reseach on, the blurer i get!! HOOOOOOOO!! And rite now i am reali confussed, totally CONFUSSED!!

Cant wait to get my pinky!!

its been abt 1yr and 3mths+ since i left pinky... Back then, on the day we were seperated, we had this sort of agreedment that we will be back togather 2 yrs later..

Now to me its like 9 more mths before we can finally be back togather, but its still so far away. Thinking abt it, its reali a greate complishment that i had been thru 1yr and 3mths le... Even thou 9 mths are shorter then the 1yr 3mths that i hv been thru, i simply feel that his 9 mths seems like 9 yrs!! its like so far away!!

And everyday i am thinkin abt pinky!! I reali wish that i could hold it onto my hand and feel its existence!! I wan to hv that feeling that I AM HOLDING ON TO U!!! u noe, nt those that imagination sort of feelings? Pinky Pinky, i am reali missin u rite now!!

packed packed packed!!

Well, its been the 2nd week of 2008, and seriosuly i am half dead!! My schedule is so freaking packed!!

Aft work go drive, if nt go settle my bills, if nt go settle my computer issues? And the worst is there is more and more stupid things being thrown to me by some angry fuckers!! Who gets more pay, and do lesser then me. My life is reali damn pissed off rite at the moment.

My driving sux, as i am too tired and i still get reprimanted coz i am tired?

My life is also kind of confussing thou. I used to know what i wan and dun reali mind ppl's view and opinion. But it seems that there are certain ppl's view that will reali affect me rite now.i am reali confussed abt that sort of feeling. Is like i have been myself for years and suddenly contradicing ideas had suddenly been erupt arnd me. And this bombardment of conflicts is reali too much to handle. I feel like i am changing, and i dun feel gd abt it.

Not that i am stating changing is bad, but in terms of actions and normal behavior i will have this devil and angel thoughts or argument within me. I feel so indecisive rite now, and hv no idea wat i am reali doin at the moment!!

Time will help i guess. But i reali wish that i can get back that self control over myself sooner or later...

nth much to do...

Well... I've woke up and ever since then i cant seem to be able to go back slpin... Maybe i'm juz hving tots of wats happening? Maybe not? lol!! But things kind of change arnd me thou!

Last time or ever since aft sec., i was having this particular tot that no matter wat happen, i am myself! and i will not get affected by others.

Y i hv such a tot? well, maybe coz of those unpleasent events from careing ppl too much bah... So y care and get urself in so mani shit?

Haha, guess a leopard nv changes its spot yo!! no matter wat, i will c hw it goes bah... Hopefully things wun happen like how it does in the past...

So... BE SAFE!!!

yo!! finally blogging again

why do i blog again? i hv no idea y, but i wanted to start all over again. LOL... well its been about 5 mths or even 8 mths since i last blog. Reasons why i stop? coz i am too bz with my "green life"!!

Anyway, things had been goin pretty smooth, and i had tonnes of time to blog slowly and of cuz enjoying my life!! While think i will start by doing up some nice skins, or templates for what oth ppl would like to call it. Erm... Well juz sit back and enjoy :)

heart pain

sometime when i look back at things, it reali aches my heart. Things that i though was perfect that was flawless has changed... Changed to be not what i used to think it was, not as good that i though it was... It reali aches my heart to actually see it happen and in fact accept the changes. Why does things change? i do asked myself sometime, sometime i feel that changes is good and some times i dont. I have no idea why i always contridicks myself but i reali cant help it... I am happy that things are changing to my favour in my circle of life, but at the same time i feel sad that things used to circle around me doesn't change for their favour!! why is it so?
I seriously wished that some of the changes doesn't happen i just wish that it will stay in its perfect statues forever and ever... But i have no choice but to accept that things have change and i have to accpet the change regardless i like it or not... I HATE THIS SHIT!!

Sick sick mi...

well... i have been att. C for 2 days, n guess wat my fever is not getting any better n i still hv to book in... this is life u noe.. no choice sux thumb... lol... i dun reali hate army, but is some rules and regulations tt i dislike... army make u fit n i nid to thx them for it... its kind of sad for ppl to step in to keep u fit u noe... coz ur body belongs to u!! n u nid some1 else to help u keep it fit wat logic is tt!! haha...

On top of all i still get paid!! nt bad le lah... is all abt the mind tt makes ppl strong or weak... is also all abt the mind tt u take ur experiance a enjoying or torturing 1... u hv to believe in something so at least it means something... else u will be following blinding like a blur cock!! which i nv wan to be 1... so guess wat... something u hv to keep it to urself... n i hv to!! :) life is simple gd enuff till now...

army life

it seems like i was enlisted ytd, but i actually had been enlisted for 1mth ++. Life seems to be interesting i say, i feel gd abt it and feel that i am much fitter now.. the onli negertive things abt there is no matter how smart or how 2pid u r, u must take order frm the ppl tt hv higher rank then u...

Its so meaningless, but wat can u do? lol... life is wat it is... so let it be... if only i am the 1 wif higher rank, if only i am the one who can control things... if only... tts all i can say....

it actually made mi realised something, which i am glad that i can understand it. In the past, i used to believe tt the smarter ppl are the one controlling ppl. But now is no the matter of how smart u r, but how much authority u had. And this is wat is happening to our daily life, do u think tt all bosses are smart? as long as u own a company u can control ur men, as long as u hv the authority the rites u can control ppl!! so u don't hv to be smart, u juz nid to gain the access or the way to be some1 to hv authority in order to be some1 at a manager lvl...

Life is so sad, juz when i tot tt the smarter u r, the better u can live ur life such things happen... n i nid to re-evaluate my own mind set... Smarter as in knowledgable can onli aid u in being a success person but not a need in order to be one... SAD

my TP is tml...

how shld i express myself now? my TP is tml i still i'm afraid tt i wld mount tt fuckin kerb which means i am can officially go home rite away!! wtf is this man, immediate failure? ccb i pay 200 bucks for 2min of mountin the kerb? 2 min = 200 bucks gd deal huh? ccb!! as if i wan to mount tt cb kerb... kind of sad aft noein tt some of my friends actually hv immediate failure, waste money like no ppl's biz like tt... imagine i hv a job tt i can earn 200 bucks in 2 mins frm some cum gong driver nt bad wor!! actual process may take abt 2hr++ like 1 hr = 80 but now i can earn 200 in 2 min swee swee hor!! some more can go lim kopi or teh or even go gayland yam char!! wat a gd life it wld be!! btw 200 is actually paid seperatly, 100 for fuckin instructor n 100 for a tester tt i nid to por be4 the test can actually go on... power rite tt fuckin tester juz sit next to mi for abt 1hr + can get 100 liao, song song sial... some more if c mi nt happi juz add few more ticks till i fail onli, and if i argu wif him? he can happi bo chaup and walk away wif my 100 bucks wif it... haiz... life is so fuck up, as long as u the one tt holds higher authority, ur life is like heaven. If u happens to be the one tt holds no authority at all? then u nid to c if u hv the look to impress, if still u dun hv it? u can onli lay down somewhere n wait to be slaughtered...