Today is another sat. Like all the oth sat, i always love to juz sit arnd and do nth. But the sat today was special. I feel so calm, relaxed and HAPPY~ i am actually smiling now as i am writing this blog.
I feel so light rite not, i feel that if i were to close my eyes now, i can fly to the moon. There is no hate, no frustration in me. Its not like me, and i love the me that is no so me. lol!!
Looking back at things that had happened for my past 2 years, its reali enrichin. It affect my whole life as a person. I took on responsibility that nv hv i imagine i can hold on to. I hv changed so mani ppl's life under my 1 yr of work. I hv seen so many faces of all emotions coming to me. I hv seen thru so many lies that ppl make up juz to cover up things. And i hv been lyin inorder to cover up some of the mistakes tt me and my department does.
It was reali very agonizing at first, its not the amount of work that is frustrating, but the doubts that whether wat u r doing is rite or wrong. Hv u ever been given a role that u hv to make a decision that will affect someone? and there is no one that u could asked advised frm? its like u r nw the judge, but the onli thing is u dun hv a solid ans to wats rite and wats wrong.
Life reali had been a misery to me. There were times at nite i am thinking wat if i am tt person, or will tt person bear any grudge towards me? or will it make into the news?
And guess wat, there was a case that this person's was in the news. I cant reveal much but it was in the article in the straitstime. And i was shock that i receive a call that i may need to be summon to the court. Althou i feel wat i do is rite, but the fear is still in me. The fear tt hw will the person take it, the fear tt am i reali doing the best out of the situation the fear that will ppl noe the meaning and the reason behind all these actions.
Life had been so "magical" so far. On weekends i always act as if i am like any1 else that wants to enjoy and be happi with who i am. But when it comes to weekdays i am back to the position tt i hv to be the "judge" the "boss" the "only one".
To be frank, i reali loves my weekend. I love the feeling of being so free and being a nobody. Since poly days i love to be a nobody, and i do wish to be a normal and simple guy like everyone. I nv wish to be the special one, and one with the responsibility, the one tt all ppl look up to.
But when things happen, and someone hv to take that shi job, i guess u cant do nth but to accept the faith. Althou i reali wish to juz be me, still u hv to think of the bigger picture, the reason the meaning of y all things happen. There is always a reason behind all the things tt r happening rite now.
Nt onli my job, nt onli my feelings, is abt everything in this whole universe. A dog barks for a reason, a worm digs into the sand for a reason, ur mum scolds u for a reason, the one u love leaves u for a reason. Nv blame on oths, nv blame on faith, tts y i hv been doing all these shit jobs, becoz things nids to happen and it has to for that reason. Take a step behind and understand it, then will u onli understand it and relive urself frm it...
- By holy CHUNAN lol!!
I feel so light rite not, i feel that if i were to close my eyes now, i can fly to the moon. There is no hate, no frustration in me. Its not like me, and i love the me that is no so me. lol!!
Looking back at things that had happened for my past 2 years, its reali enrichin. It affect my whole life as a person. I took on responsibility that nv hv i imagine i can hold on to. I hv changed so mani ppl's life under my 1 yr of work. I hv seen so many faces of all emotions coming to me. I hv seen thru so many lies that ppl make up juz to cover up things. And i hv been lyin inorder to cover up some of the mistakes tt me and my department does.
It was reali very agonizing at first, its not the amount of work that is frustrating, but the doubts that whether wat u r doing is rite or wrong. Hv u ever been given a role that u hv to make a decision that will affect someone? and there is no one that u could asked advised frm? its like u r nw the judge, but the onli thing is u dun hv a solid ans to wats rite and wats wrong.
Life reali had been a misery to me. There were times at nite i am thinking wat if i am tt person, or will tt person bear any grudge towards me? or will it make into the news?
And guess wat, there was a case that this person's was in the news. I cant reveal much but it was in the article in the straitstime. And i was shock that i receive a call that i may need to be summon to the court. Althou i feel wat i do is rite, but the fear is still in me. The fear tt hw will the person take it, the fear tt am i reali doing the best out of the situation the fear that will ppl noe the meaning and the reason behind all these actions.
Life had been so "magical" so far. On weekends i always act as if i am like any1 else that wants to enjoy and be happi with who i am. But when it comes to weekdays i am back to the position tt i hv to be the "judge" the "boss" the "only one".
To be frank, i reali loves my weekend. I love the feeling of being so free and being a nobody. Since poly days i love to be a nobody, and i do wish to be a normal and simple guy like everyone. I nv wish to be the special one, and one with the responsibility, the one tt all ppl look up to.
But when things happen, and someone hv to take that shi job, i guess u cant do nth but to accept the faith. Althou i reali wish to juz be me, still u hv to think of the bigger picture, the reason the meaning of y all things happen. There is always a reason behind all the things tt r happening rite now.
Nt onli my job, nt onli my feelings, is abt everything in this whole universe. A dog barks for a reason, a worm digs into the sand for a reason, ur mum scolds u for a reason, the one u love leaves u for a reason. Nv blame on oths, nv blame on faith, tts y i hv been doing all these shit jobs, becoz things nids to happen and it has to for that reason. Take a step behind and understand it, then will u onli understand it and relive urself frm it...
- By holy CHUNAN lol!!
0 comments:
Post a Comment